14 Clinton Wedding Questions

Okay, I've had it. It's been on TV every day for weeks, and Sunday when I signed online AOL's "news" headline was "14 Clinton Wedding Questions." We are never going to put these odious people in our national rearview mirror. So here, because they ticked me off for what I assume is nowhere near the last time, are my 14 unanswered Clinton Wedding questions.

1.) For the health and safety of elderly guests, will the bride be wearing an extra thick veil?
2.) How will the groom dodge state bestiality laws?
3.) How much wedding cake will Samuel Berger stuff down his underpants?
4.) Will the bride ride in or chase after the limo?
5.) Who invited Craig Livingstone?
6.) Is the bride registered at PETCO?
7.) Will a small electric shock be enough to prevent the bride from wandering from the reception hall and into traffic?
8.) How many bridesmaids has Hillary agreed to let Bill bag?
9.) How many bridesmaids has Bill agreed to let Hillary bag?
10.) If the marriage ends in divorce, how exactly will it be George Bush's fault?
11.) Will Bill remember not to cop a feel from his daughter on the dance floor?
12.) Is this a sham like her parents' marriage?
13.) What's Tyson getting out of it?
14.) Bridal shower or flea bath?